One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
