Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
