then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize