Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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