Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
