remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
