my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
