the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
