She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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