I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
