Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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