My girlfriend figured out who you are.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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