Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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