Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
