Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
