I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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