i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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