i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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