I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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