I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
