Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
