So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
