He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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