Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize