She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
