i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We are two peas in an std pod
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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