I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I deserve this hangover.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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