Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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