what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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