Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just had sex on a roof
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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