I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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