I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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