before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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