saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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