my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How external is "for external use only"?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
