how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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