Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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