yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
how does that bad decision feel?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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