I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
