is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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