I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
