I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
