she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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