Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
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Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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