just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
