You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
