I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
