Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
