Where did you get a picture of my penis
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
