Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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