I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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