Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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