Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
