you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
