At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
