i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
worst night to have a conscience
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
